It's been a month since my foot has come out of the cast, and about three months since I was back here, in this place.
I'm not sure I'm 100 percent sorted, but I've figured out a few things that seem to have helped both my body and my mind. I think of them as "Non Scale Victories" or NSVs:
1) I'm working a lot less.
2) I'm sleeping a lot more.
3) I've virtually eliminated any processed food from my diet and replaced with organic produce.
4) I'm sucking it up and taking the medicines my doctor wants me to take. I do feel better.
5) I found a trainer, Mary, who can put together a program for me to do in my home gym in Montana. She's awesome and nonstop with encouragement and support.
6) I balance protein and carbs with every meal and cook 90 percent of what I eat at home.
7) Not being able to put weight on my foot has been a great workout challenge. Mary has kicked my core into shape - I love it. I'm doing 1000+ core exercises a week.
8) I keep a food journal and I've learned that a) I hate eating breakfast and b) that if I don't eat lunch I wind up eating junk food in the afternoon. I'm dealing with both of those things and it really helps a lot.
9) My moods are better.
10) I think I'm smaller in places, but I haven't weighed myself. Most important to me is that I'm stronger and happier. A lot stronger.
I still need to figure out a way to get others to be supportive - and acknowledge that the best version of me post-illness may not look the same way I did ten years ago. That's hard, because I'm still figuring that part out myself. Every time I think I'm there, someone suggests I'm not as good as I could be, and I wind up back at broken heart square one. I suppose I shouldn't care what others say, but that's a lot harder than it sounds, isn't it?!