I lost ALOT of money. I lost money *At* work when projects got difficult, I lost money deciding not to work when I needed the summer off to bounce back, and I lost money not being able to work because I was home with my Mom. The only thing I regret is spending part of my savings to bail out projects, instead of taking a pilgrimmage to the Holy Land in honor of Fr. King. BIG mistake.
I started asking myself what it is I need to do for myself to feed my spirit.
I was hugely satisfied by a deepening relationship with a PR consultant I've been working with over the last year or so, and very happy with our joint project and her accomplishments for the client.
And frustrated by clients who play games instead of giving you the information you need to do a good job for them.
I am so embarrassed that I ____. Well...It's hard to pick just one thing.
Once again, I failed to finish writing my novel.
Once again, I did not achieve buns of steel.
The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is the strength in my core. It's all about the core. Though I really would be o.k. with buns of steel, too.
I loved spending time in the art studio.
Why did I spend even two minutes talking to that creepy old guy at the dinner party?
I should have spent more time calling friends on the phone and catching up.
I regret buying the gold sequin top and military jacket from Michael Kors. I knew I would never wear the outfit, but my husband told me I looked pretty in it. Sucker.
I will never regret buying [paying for] a housekeeper, even though with that money I could have bought a whole lot of things.
I ruminated way too much.
I didn’t exercise consistently enough.
My cowlick drove me crazy.
Was my cowlick crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?
The most relaxing place I went was my house in Montana.
I feel so vulnerable when I write that down. Especially when no one comments on those bleeding heart blog posts.
Why did I go to that sh**ty hairdresser? I know better than that.
The best thing I did for someone else was spending some time at home with my mother before she moved into assisted living, even though it meant a big drop in my income.
The best thing I did for myself was deciding to take the summer off and just enjoy the time, even though it meant a big drop in my income.
The best thing someone did for me was say Mass for me when I was deeply hurting. A gift that compares to nothing I could ever make, bake, or buy.
The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is recognize when I'm at my physical and emotional limits. And then STOP whatever I'm doing that makes it so.
I appreciate your candid words, from a poor blouse choice to your mortal introspective and everything in between.
Posted by: Sarcastra | February 08, 2011 at 11:46 PM
Your "bleeding heart" posts are always real and raw and almost always speak directly to me in a way I can so relate to. They are strong and powerful and I feel any comments I could add would be inadequate and possibly annoying. Ah my own vulnerabilities!
Posted by: Stevi | January 04, 2011 at 04:57 AM
Heidi, I am glad that post inspired you and I am glad you shared. I didn't! But courageous and honest posts like yours make me feel like I could... maybe. Sorta. :)
I've so enjoyed getting to know you in 2010 and in 2011 I hope we can meet face to face. Thanks for being so open, funny and thoughtful.
Congratulations on making some tough decisions - it sounds like they were the right ones. One of my favorite quotes is "Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."
Thank you for reminding me of that.
And also, that M Kors ensemble can always be worn in another decade when gold sequins are back again. :)
Christine
http://www.twitter.com/missusP
Posted by: Christine Perkett | January 03, 2011 at 03:33 PM
You managed to face the challenges of your mom's move/dementia/etc with grace and patience. That alone is a huge accomplishment. And totally makes up for going to the bad hairdresser.
Posted by: Sue | January 03, 2011 at 02:51 PM
Love your honesty - what a great review.
Posted by: Debbie | January 03, 2011 at 02:07 PM