This week on Engine 2 was better. I lost a half a pound. I also way-upped my exercise, adding Jeff Galloway's Couch-to-5k running program to my already vigorous Stairmill/Stairmaster and Circuits routines. Today, I run 15 minutes and then I guess I'll go to Spin.
The other interesting thing about the half-pound weight loss was that I "cheated." I drank a skinny margarita and ate three vegan cookies from a natural foods bakery in Columbus, Ohio, where I was visiting.
I'm doing o.k., but it is hard to do this and not see more significant results (like a WHOLE POUND). People give me feedback but I just think to myself, "Walk a mile in my shoes." Do they look at me and think I don't exercise? Would they know I track every workout and spent 5.5 hours and 1640 calories at the gym last week?
My struggle isn't about doing it, it's about doing it in spite of...if that makes any sense. I have to exercise even though it is often followed by hours of abdominal pain from my muscles pulling on scar tissue. And then I have to talk myself into doing it the next day knowing it will happen again. I have to eat right even though it won't "work." I have to take four different pills because no doctor is really sure what will happen if I don't take them. It's the day-in/day-out of that aspect of all that; not seeing visible results, working through unpleasant physical pain caused by exercise; having people think that I don't try. Like I'm a Person of Walmart or something. That's what makes it hard to keep going.
But I decided over the weekend that it was good that I'm trending down - about 7 lbs this year in spite of a difficult divorce and a cross-country move. That I can still fit into my clothes, I'm not growing. And my blood work is consistent, not getting worse. So that's something.
I am really looking forward to making Dr. Oz' Lemony Kale Salad for lunch. I made it the other day and really enjoyed it. I didn't have hemp seeds so I ground up some flax and threw it on there instead - it was really good. Give it a try!
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