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May 01, 2013


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Only the wrong people love that about you.


This blog is fascinating and beautiful and I can't wait to read every word. Also I have not heard of this movie, i'm gonna watch it. Your comments here remind me of many times I've been so mad and afraid to express it. Whew I made some bad decisions because of fear! But getting to know you is making my life better because of the help from the herbs (oil sprays) and just because you are incredibly interesting!♥


I'm laughing. At least saying the truth is more kind and useful then writing people out of your story, like have done. Sometimes they come back in - having had enough time without me around to come to their senses. (I'm smiling as I write that.) It took almost ten years for one friend - whose unkindness made me erase an entire end of the neighborhood. Ten years later, civility preserved all that time, she apologized and freed me from the suspicion that I had actually deserved it, as I deserve all slaps in the face. And things are different now. But come to think of it, I DID say those things - well, not those exact things - in a letter I literally fired off her way. That's me - not face to face - I stun them with bitter rhetoric. The one or two times I ever actually dealt even that directly.

I am not always angry, but there is a strong sub-surface river of it down there. My daughter inherited that - brought it to the surface, and turned it into Joan of Arc's sword. Sometimes she is not a comfortable dinner guest.

But you have found beauty. And maybe that milk-and-honey-that-they-might-know thing works backwards - that you eat the bitter, so that you know the good when you finally have it.


I've made myself start telling the truth about how I feel *to myself* if to nobody else. There are times where it's completely inappropriate to put the truth out there ("I came to this party so you'll encourage your child to be nice to my child, not because I actually like you," doesn't sound particularly nice...

I will no longer lie to myself, though.

Oddly, it seems to help.

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